


strawberry gay time

by beifongbltch, snowandfire



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: ATLA WLW Week 2020, F/F, First Kiss, Modern Setting, Pining, School Dances, This is FLUFF seriously, beautiful mai, being in love with your best friend is harder, confused gays, cute shit, everything is fine, high school is hard, light angst though, suki is confusion, they're fine, we're gay so jot that down, we're struggling, writers love strawberries and peppermint chapstick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beifongbltch/pseuds/beifongbltch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowandfire/pseuds/snowandfire
Summary: if you've ever had an intense homoerotic friendship with your high school best friend this fic is for you
Relationships: Mai/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar) (Mentioned)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 92
Collections: AtLA WLW week 2020





	strawberry gay time

Suki doesn’t remember how it started. Maybe it was in Astronomy class when she found herself sitting next to Mai, the only other girl in the room. Perhaps it was later in English when they did their group discussions and Mai said things like “I found it pandering and heteronormative, and hardly worthy of being called a classic”. Or it could have been even later, when the tall, mysterious Mai had asked for a ride home and Suki (against the advice of all her friends) had opened the door of her beaten up Camry.

Yet in any case, it had started. Every time the other girl’s chat bubble would glow green it brought a small smile to Suki’s face. Her mother often wondered whether her daughter had a new boyfriend because of the sheer number of times her phone would beep and she’d hurriedly text back. When their classes were on opposite sides of the school they’d strategically meet up in one of the public bathrooms that lined the wings and waste entire periods just talking. Suki had memorized the look of Mai’s profile as she leaned against the white tile. The crinkle between her eyebrows when she was perplexed. How very aware Mai was of her own aristocratic bearing, the artful way her loose black hair tumbled down her shoulders. How perfectly tight their school’s uniform looked on her. The way they used to sit on the benches between classes and Mai would always get up first when the bell rang and offer her a hand.

The touches were always so fleeting. A brush when passing an extra sheet of notebook paper before an exam or a note when the teacher was talking. Sitting on two nearby stools in the biology lab and their knees just barely touching. Those times when Mai would be impatient at something Suki was doing on the computer and press her warm hand on top of Suki’s to maneuver the mouse. Mai tugging on her sweatshirt sleeve to get her to go somewhere quickly. Leaning in to whisper something in her ear and laying a hand lightly on her shoulder. Using Suki’s shoulder as an armrest just to annoy her about being shorter. It rarely lasted. But it was enchanting. 

The place they talked the most initially was online. Two to three-hour chats while Suki was working on her homework. Even longer on the weekends. They talked about everything and nothing. About people they knew, their classes, and Suki’s part-time work. But also about psychology, why people really behaved the way they did, why society was going to the dogs, things they found funny. Suki had never met anyone whose opinions she wanted to know about everything. No one thought in quite the way Mai did. It was new and bright and refreshing. She had never felt herself with anyone before Mai either. They built off each others’ jokes so well. They had running code words and abbreviations and hand signals they would use in public. If Suki said “turnip” in public Mai would burst out laughing and reply “watermelon though” and it would all make sense. It felt brilliant. Like a new lease on life. All school events found her leaving her old friends to dash after Mai wherever she went. People began calling them Mai-and-Suki, because they had become a group set. Whatever it was, and Suki still really didn’t know what it was: she didn’t mind being half of it.

She didn’t always think she was in love with Mai. Not really. She’d had close relationships before, and she knew that girl friends could bond without it being like that. But that was before Mai stayed over. When she had first come she had stood sheepishly at the door with a sleeping bag and Suki had found her confusion so endearing. For once she had seemed like the teenager she was, lanky and awkward instead of how impressive and artful she could sometimes be. Then Mai had shook hands with her mum, who was glad to be meeting the famous Mai that Suki could never shut up about, and she had said ‘Hello Mrs. Hu’ and smiled. 

Whenever friends were over they always slept in the same bed, and it had never felt strange or as spine-tinglingly exciting as it was when it was Suki and Mai across from each other, Mai’s silky black hair lying carelessly across the pillow. Suki felt an odd sensation of privilege to see her like that, and a brief bit of shock when she realized she had never seen Mai out of their uniform before. This avatar was new. The way her pajamas were decorated with bees and the way Mai looked just a bit sleepy after having washed off her mascara. The way her hair had less shine now that she had brushed all the product out. Suki knew she was seeing something very few people had ever seen.

Mai had her elbow against the pillow as she lay on her side facing Suki. And Suki, as always, mirrored her. She looked different, Suki thought, but not bad. And when they were this close Suki could smell the scent of strawberry off her skin. Boys never smelled like that. Mai’s eyebrows were nice, and slightly shaped, and Suki was close enough to see where a few hairs were growing in. She imagined in her head a younger Mai, with thicker eyebrows and shorter hair, maybe tied up in buns?--and her skin still smelling like strawberries.

She was in love with the fact that Mai was fixated only on her. The fact that as Mai’s eyes widened or she gestured wildly and spoke with her hands that her gaze never left Suki’s face. It had been dark when they went to bed. Her parents had long ago gone to sleep. Yet the pair of them were still awake talking by the light of Suki’s embarrassing fan-shaped night light. There was no clock in the room so they lost track of time. And as Suki had listened to Mai’s stories she noticed she had subconsciously moved even closer. Close enough, as it happened, to kiss.

It was then that they had decided to sneak back downstairs. Suki hadn’t thought that Mai would be the type of friend she could have ice cream with in the middle of the night but she was. They went out onto the deck and watched the stars as they ate it, and later when they went upstairs they planned to go right to sleep. Which of course only happened after another hour of talking.

It must be different, kissing a girl, Suki had thought the whole while. She had kissed plenty of boys. Sokka, Haru too. It would probably be sweeter. Softer. More elegant? Or would it? She dreamed that she had, that Mai’s lips tasted like strawberries, that her hair smelled like lavender. Her cheek had been so smooth, her breath so hot. When Suki awoke she had felt guilty.

She still didn’t know what they were. Mai always seemed to seek out her alone to talk to. She smiled and laughed the most when she was talking to Suki. Surely that meant something? Yet despite the long months spent side-by-side, Suki hadn’t even told her that she was her best friend.

Boys would flirt with both of them. Suki would date sporadically and every time Mai would get frustrated. Tell her every stupid thing that boy ever did until Suki had no choice but to dump them. By the time the school dance came, she and Mai went by themselves. The same pop songs played over and over, the beats loud and thrashing as a hundred or so teenagers danced and popped and locked awkwardly to the music. It was then that Mai asked her to dance. Suki assumed it was because she was bored. Mai spun her around. Mai grasped her hands and they imitated the romantic couples and laughed. As a slow song came on Suki thought she would let go but she didn’t and they went through that one too, still, surprisingly, smiling.

Suki imagined another life in which she could tell people that she loved a girl.  _ This  _ girl. She imagined waking up next to her in the morning and breathing in that strawberry heaven all the time. She imagined traveling to Japan and Vietnam, having Mai’s dry sarcasm and her wit all to herself. She imagined them laughing and dancing and talking and talking in a house of their own in front of a fireplace. Sipping jasmine tea. She imagined what it might be like to make love.

The song was ending. She felt not for the last time that night that they shouldn’t be here as simply friends, they should be here _ together _ . But she told herself that she couldn’t possibly be sad. This was just the way it had to be. 

If there was ever a moment to tell Mai, Suki thought, that would have been it. When she looked so beautiful in violet satin and barrettes like crystals holding up her dark hair. Her eyes sparkling and her smile wide. But she was afraid to step too far. They had never talked about what this was. What they had become. The way it felt like Suki had seen into Mai’s soul. Weren’t they two halves of one whole? What if Mai didn’t see it that way? One wrong move could ruin everything. Maybe it wasn’t worth losing what they had for what they could be. 

Suki doesn’t remember how it started. But she couldn’t bear to see it end. So she said nothing. 

* * *

Suki left Mai confused. It was a chronic condition. She was attached, as if but some invisible string, keeping the two together at all costs. Every time they touched, Mai’s stomach would flip and fall, her head would rush. Suki made her feel things she never thought were allowed. 

It was odd, thinking how one day they were strangers and the next, Suki was always there. Her messages were so endearing, so filled with love. It was like she put her whole heart into every word. She sent hearts and words of so much passion, telling of her hopes and dreams and exactly where Mai fit in. Then she’d turn around and go on a date with Sokka. Like she was playing a game.

The first night they laid together, Mai knew what she felt. She couldn’t bring herself to believe it, though. It wasn’t right, to think of Suki like that. To imagine filling the space between them with a gentle kiss. To wonder how it must feel to tangle their legs together and hold each other close. If maybe, she moved a little closer, Suki would make the move.

The more common sleepovers became, the less Mai could shake those thoughts. Nights where Suki would turn on her favorite movies, wondering ‘how have you never seen this?’ Cuddling up close to Mai, her legs draped over Mai’s lap. Close enough that she could smell the peppermint chapstick on her lips. When she talked and laughed, her hair would fall into Mai’s face. Mai could feel the warmth of her breath against her cheeks. It called her to move in, close that gap forever. But Mai couldn’t, not with Suki.

Some nights, Mai couldn’t seem to fall asleep. She’d lie on her back, wondering how long this feeling would persist. If she was even  _ allowed _ to feel this way. Suki, every time, turned over, asking what Mai was thinking about, then grabbing her hands and leading her onto the deck.

They named all the stars. She showed Suki the constellations, grabbing her hand to point at the sky. They made up stories about who put the stars there, and why they showed the pictures that they do. Suki had turned to her, all too close again, and asked if they talked to the moon, would she answer them. Mai wondered if the moon could keep her secrets. 

‘I love you,’ was said with too much casualty behind it. Suki could never  _ really _ mean that. She probably loved Mai the way she loved all of those friends who she never talked much about anymore. Yet, every day, she sat closer, talked for longer. Every day Mai wondered if she had fallen in love. And what would happen if she had.

She knew all of Suki’s favorite songs. The foods she ate when she was sad. How she relaxed after a long day. She knew what colors Suki saw in the world, the places she wanted to travel to, and that her favorite scent was fresh strawberries.

Suki’s laugh could change lives, and it did for Mai. The sweet ringing of that beautiful sound filled Mai’s head and never dared leave. She would’ve done anything to hear that laugh. All she could imagine was waking up next to Suki for the rest of their lives. Their bodies so close they might become one. And after an early morning of talking, Mai would get up and make tea.

Though, she knew that was only a dream. One day, Suki would fall in love again with a nice boy, and Mai would be left to sit and watch. 

Suki asked to go to the dance together. Clearly, she didn’t mean  _ together _ , she just didn’t want to be alone. Suki looked radiant that night, her green dress hanging over her, shining under the lights. And her gold jewelry that complimented her so well. A thought flickered through Mai’s mind, if she’ll ever see her in a wedding dress. 

Mai, more than anything, wanted to be close to her. To exist in her space for a little while. When they danced together, laughing about all of the awkward couples, Mai wondered if they might just become one. When her hands traveled to Suki’s waist, pulling her in closer than ever before, Mai wondered if it was finally the time. The time to make all of her dreams into a reality.  _ No _ .

Suki looked pensive for the rest of the night. Mai figured she had caught on, and this is where it ended. Suki would know Mai’s feelings and find them gross. Mai-and-Suki would be no more.

She lingered before unlocking the car, as if she was going to tell Mai something. But she kept silent. Suki didn’t start the car when they both climbed in. She just sat there, letting the cold seep in, and the air from their lungs fog up the windows. Mai wanted to reach out and place her hand on Suki’s, resting on her lap. 

She couldn’t even think to stop herself before she did it, holding Suki’s fingers under hers. Suki’s eyes widened, a small sound escaping from her. If they had been in a movie, the music would have swelled and the cameras would’ve zoomed in, showing the multitudes in Suki’s eyes.

Mai couldn’t tell if she was leaning over, but somehow their faces were close enough to collide. If she took the chance, it could end her friendship, or start something new. Heat rushed into Mai’s cheeks, her face mere centimeters from Suki’s. If she got any closer…

Suki hesitated, looking like she was about to pull away, before filling in that space will pillow-soft lips. Thoughts escaped Mai’s mind, all she knew in that moment was peppermint chapstick and Suki’s perfectly warm lips against hers. Her hand ran through Suki’s hair, Suki’s pulled her in closer. It was as if they had been dehydrated their whole lives and now was their first sip of sweet water. 

That moment stopped time. It may have been the start of forever.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah we gay...keep scrolling. find us on tumblr @bluberry-spicehead and @lesbiankya !!


End file.
